RIDER SPECS
The front rider. He is called “the Monkey”, like on a sidecar, but more due to the very strong physical resemblance between a monkey and our guy. Very agile and energetic, he shouts as soon as the board accelerates and gets the whole crew to piss themselves laughing. He never touches the water unless the board breaks in half. He is more comfortable on stage with his band, the Virtual Slaps, than on our monster board. Régis, that´s his name, and is the only one who has managed to beat Thomas Traversa in a wave contest last year despite body measurements proportionally inverse to the specs of our Quadem Beast – 66 kilos on the scale with his funky old school banana hanger underwear on.The second. He is the Brain. His role is to give orders and manage manoeuvres. Teamwork is crucial for the jibe when you have a radius approaching the length of a football field! He is a lot heavier than the front rider since he weighs 68 kgs, pretty impressive huh? He stuffed himself all winter long in order to gain 2 kgs and avoid being the front rider. He could be used as a relay between the other riders, but unfortunately he sails with earplugs. So there is absolutely no communication between all 4 riders, which makes every manoeuvre highly technical and highly unpredictable!
The engine. He is the fattest but also the least fit of us all. To make him put on extra weight quickly, we developed a special diet based on beers, Ti’ punch and burgers. His only role is to sheet in and most importantly to shut the hell up because only number 2 is supposed to give orders!! 105 kgs for 1m85, a nice baby.
The pilot. As on the Tridem, the pilot is the furthest back and cannot see anything of what is happening at the front. I will let you imagine what would have happened if we had made the start line at Défi in the middle of 1400 fellow windsurfers. We gave this critical task to Xavier because he is the best at hitting start lines right at the horn and to nailing the inside line at jibe marks. According to our calculations though, we won’t need the inside line at the jibe as we will be so far ahead of the pack with our supersonic speed. 85 kgs of muscle and testosterone on the scales to wrap up the crew.